To Make You Feel Better

You know when you're having a bad day, and you just need to complain to whoever will listen? (Hello, blog). But then that person goes on and tries to give you a life lesson, and you're like, look, I just wanted to complain about my horrible life, not get advice on how to fix it, GOD.

STOP HELPING ME

Or maybe that's just me.

Let's be real though; literally everyone at some point in their life has heard the world's most annoying cliche- that everything happens for a reason. I am on the fence about that one. I used to struggle with it, even as recently as a few years ago, when my life was actually pretty damn hard! I couldn't understand why I had to go through half the things I did. It also probably didn't help that I was a super angsty teen, but even now, I can see reasons why my struggles have helped me or pushed me in a new direction that I never imagined going.

I do wonder if that's just something we do as humans, though. Maybe we just look for reasons in everything because otherwise we'd realize life is pointless. 

Now don't get me wrong; I don't think it's pointless in the sense that we should all just lay down and die. I do think it's just pointless enough that I should be allowed to eat a donut every day of my life. They are delicious, and if you try telling me eating a spoonful of granola and like, a hard boiled egg, every morning is a great way to start the day I will tell you right now: you are WRONG.

I'm sure sometimes people just recite some old cliche to you because they don't know what to say, and they want to make you feel better. I totally get it; I've never been very good at such things. If you know me well, you probably also know how often I respond to bad things with a simple, "that sucks" before moving on to a dumb joke. 

This way of thinking about life has made me highly suspicious of other weird things people tell you about bad things happening to you.

"Oh, a bird pooped on your head? That's good luck!" Is it, Debra? Or are you just trying to make it seem like the shittiest thing ever didn't just happen. What next? Are you going to tell me the stink bug buzzing threateningly around my room means I'm destined to be rich and famous? Please. Sometimes bad things are just bad.

But then again, if the worst thing that happens to you on any given day is getting shit on by a bird, I guess you should consider yourself lucky.

Recommended Listening: Sign of the Times - Harry Styles (YAS it's amazing)

(Sp)ring-worm

HEY EVERYONE. Happy spring/April Fool's day. While there is not much celebrating going on here, there has been a lot of quiet reflection over the past 36 hours or so.

Let me start by acknowledging that I totally didn't start updating here regularly. My life is rarely interesting enough to be written about and I have been lacking ideas. However sometimes something so horrible and bizarre happens to you and then at the very least you have inspiration to write a blog post on a Saturday night. (And here we are!)

It all started a month or 2 ago when I noticed my elbows were looking a bit more horrible than usual. I mean, they're always dry and gross, especially in the winter, but this was like, oh man, what vitamins do I need to start taking and how much water should I be drinking?
I started putting lotion on them daily, because again they were just much worse than I was used to. Shit looked WEIRD after a while so I stopped with the every day thing.

Then about 4 days ago I was talking with a friend who mentioned they caught something called Ringworm from work, and immediately I was super grossed out because, yes, I thought that had something to do with an actual worm.

After having this condition explained to me (it's literally just a circular rash caused by...fungus) and googling some photos I realized...I think that's what's wrong with my elbows!

I mostly wasn't sure and went to work the next day only slightly worried about it. Then I noticed my other elbow was starting to look horrible. Eventually I convinced myself the entirety of my arms was itchy and decided I'd better go to the CVS Minute Clinic nearby and figure this shit out once and for all.

After about 2 seconds the doctor was like, "Oh yeah that's ringworm" and I literally said "Eeeeweweeweweweewww" in response. She then let me know it's super easy to get rid of, go buy this lotion in the athlete's foot section (as if this wasn't bad enough) and put it on twice a day for like 2 weeks. I then paid $13 for a bottle the size of some chap stick.

This is where the real problem started. I used it 3 times, twice on Thursday, and woke up Friday feeling super weird. My ears were hot and itchy and eventually so were my face and neck. I called my mom because I cannot always be America's #1 grown-up, and she said I should probably go back to the doctor.

They were very sympathetic and could really only feel bad for prescribing something I am allergic to, so there wasn't much to be done about it. She recommended a different lotion for my elbows, and some allergy meds for my super red/swollen face.

I'd never taken such a thing before, but I decided to risk it and take some at work. It mostly went fine, besides the fact that I got super tired and wanted to cry because I was awake and working instead of sleeping. At some point I decided I had to just go work from home so I could at least cry in peace, which, by the way, I didn't actually end up doing until after 5, woohoo!

The allergy meds really only stopped my face from being so itchy, which was a huge bummer. I watched a few episodes of the show I love to hate, Flip or Flop. Somewhere during Tarek and Christina's millionth house flip, I was suddenly starving. I ate a large bowl of salad and then some pasta, and it was GLORIOUS. Adam also made me eat a clove of garlic, which is still grossing me out 24 hours later UGH.

Unfortunately the night took a turn for the worst and I ended the record breaking 11.5 years of avoiding the absolute worst thing in life: throwing up. I will spare you the details of course, because, ew, but I will say it was so sad and ridiculous.

I showered and decided to try putting some aloe on my face in hopes of making it feel slightly better. I guess I am more of a wimp than anyone could have guessed, because after about 30 seconds of doing this and sort of feeling better I suddenly felt like I might fall on the floor and die. And then it happened.

So that was pretty much the worst of it! Today I still got up and went to get my hair dyed more blonde (and it's amazing) and ate a delicious bagel for breakfast. And I'm still alive! My face is still swollen and sad looking but I feel like I will be okay soon enough. I did see on Google that symptoms can last up to 2 weeks but I'm trying to ignore that and assume it will be better by Monday morning.

I suppose I did want 2017 to be a year of new experiences, though I'm not sure I would've put having an allergic reaction on that list. At the moment I have forgotten what it feels like to have a normal face, kind of like when you have a cold and forget what it's like to breathe through your nose. I am looking forward to warmer weather and feeling better, so bring it on April.

I hope everyone had a wonderful March, even without this amazing blog to get you through it. I'm off to take a second nap, because 1 is never enough!

BYE.

Recommended Listening: Runaway - Matt Corby